I’ve learned that my ex is very unhappy and continues to blame me for everything bad that happens to her. Despite our contact being limited to occasional text messages about the kids and interaction through attorneys. Yes, attorneys. Two years on and we still have lawyers and court dates and so forth. Welcome to divorce and child custody battles. (Mostly the latter in our case.)
What has come to light is that I’m getting revenge and haven’t even really tried to make it happen. It’s karma in action. I didn’t even have to buy a voodoo doll or do any kind of strange ritual dance. I just had to move on.
You see, my ex is miserable. She’s consumed by hatred and unhappiness, all focused on me and her blaming of me for whatever ails her. This has meant that she cannot form meaningful relationships or even keep hold of the few that she had to start with. She throws herself all in with potential boyfriends and it always crashes and burns. Because she cannot let go and heal. There are probably a lot of psychological reasons for this, but for this post, the reasons aren’t as important as is the result.
I can generally tell her relationship status (or lack thereof) and her psychological state by the volume and types of messages being sent my way. My ex will occasionally pester me with things, then ignore me, then pester me again. The cycles coincide with her mood swings and current relationship status.
As a side note, I recommend limiting all correspondence with your ex to written forms for several obvious reasons, not the least of which is the potential permanent record.
Meanwhile, I deal with her only because we have our kids in common. Had we not had that link, I would long ago have shut her out completely. That moving on has meant that, after some fits and starts, I’m now stabilized (or as stable as someone like me can get) and in a fulfilling, meaningful relationship. Which, of course, bothers my ex to no end.
It took more than two years for me to move on enough to establish something meaningful with someone else. Her torment is her undoing and feels like sweet, sweet payback. So I’ll gloat a little.
Yes, revenge is sweet and best served cold. It’s ice cream.