Do Not Resuscitate. These are three words that the medical community understands and that indicate that a person has decided that, no matter how things look, there is no “life support” option they’re comfortable with. No matter what happens, this is a person who doesn’t want to take the final last ditch effort to stay (technically) alive in hopes of a better future or a different outcome with their health.
The same can be analogized towards relationships. Last ditch efforts to revive or resuscitate a dead relationship are only very, very rarely successful. Like the patient who’s already on their deathbed, a former relationship that becomes tempting to revive is also likely doomed regardless of what steps are taken.
Once the relationship is over, even if the temptation is to go back to it because there might be one last chance.. It’s best to let it lie and resist that temptation. Going with the DNR choice might seem harsh and might seem like it’s throwing away a potentially great thing, but there’s a reason the relationship died. Once the aftermath of the breakup has occurred and the settling into being single has started, it’s time to consider yourself and rethink your needs and wants in a relationship. Going back to what was will just mean falling into the same ruts. Good or bad.
If your ex really wants back together, he or she will work hard to make that happen and will be willing to wait while you get yourself together as you wish. If they are just pining after the “old days” because their new single life isn’t as great as they’d hoped or because they’ve finally realized what you were to them.. Well, sucks to be them. It’s a guarantee that while they might appreciate you now, that won’t last and the old habit of taking you for granted will start right up again sooner than later.
So my advice on over and done relationships is to DNR. Let them die in peace. No point in plugging in a bunch of life support and hoping things will get back on their feet. It’s very unlikely to happen.